Journeying the Shoreline of Emotions: Unveiling the Lives of Wives in Challenging Polygamous Relationships
Abstract
The purpose of this study is to discuss the experiences of second wives in polygamous marriages and the psychological impact they endure while living in a polygamous relationship. The research method used is descriptive phenomenology, utilizing data analysis techniques. Participants were recruited from South Kalimantan and East Java through an online form using Google Forms. A total of four second wives participated in this study, with an age range of 23-45 years. Participants were selected using a snowball sampling method. Data were analyzed by repeatedly reading the transcripts and identifying key themes. The results of the study show that life in a polygamous marriage is full of challenges. The second wives feel that living in a polygamous marriage is a fate determined by God, and although they accept the marriage, they face issues such as feelings of dissatisfaction, vulnerability, jealousy, nagging tendencies, and irritating habits. The psychological impacts experienced by the subjects include frustration, annoyance, heartbreak, mental pressure, feelings of inferiority, anxiety, and restlessness. Communication in polygamous marriages plays a crucial role, where openness and good communication between partners can support a positive relationship, while the inability to be open and communicate can become a barrier.
References
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31. Théorêt, V., Lapierre, A., Blais, M., & Hébert, M. (2022). Can Emotion Dysregulation Explain the Association Between Attachment Insecurities and Teen Dating Violence Perpetration? Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 37(1–2), 743–763. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260520915547
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33. Wenzel, M., Woodyatt, L., Okimoto, T. G., & Worthington, E. L. (2021). Dynamics of Moral Repair: Forgiveness, Self-Forgiveness, and the Restoration of Value Consensus as Interdependent Processes. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 47(4), 607–626. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167220937551
34. Yau, J. H. Y., Wong, J. Y. H., & Fong, D. Y. T. (2021). Economic Abuse as a Form of Intimate Partner Violence: A Literature Review of the Instruments and Mental Well-Being Outcomes. Violence and Victims, 36(4), 479–492. https://doi.org/10.1891/VV-D-19-00082
2. Bacıoğlu, S. D., & Kocabıyık, O. O. (2020). The Roles of Value Preferences and Cognitive Emotion Regulation Strategies on Prediction of Dating Violence. International Journal of Psychology and Educational Studies, 7(1), 96–107. https://doi.org/10.17220/ijpes.2020.01.009
3. Bianchi, D., Morelli, M., Nappa, M. R., Baiocco, R., & Chirumbolo, A. (2021). A Bad Romance: Sexting Motivations and Teen Dating Violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 36(13–14), 6029–6049. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260518817037
4. Bundock, K., Chan, C., & Hewitt, O. (2020). Adolescents’ Help-Seeking Behavior and Intentions Following Adolescent Dating Violence: A Systematic Review. Trauma, Violence, and Abuse, 21(2), 350–366. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838018770412
5. Campbell, L., & Stanton, S. C. (2019). Adult attachment and trust in romantic relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 25, 148–151. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.08.004
6. Chez, R. A., & Jones, R. F. (1995). The battered woman. In American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology (Vol. 173, Issue 3 PART 1). https://doi.org/10.1016/0002-9378(95)90322-4
7. Colaizzi, P. F. (1978). Psychological Research As The Phenomenologist Views It. In R. S. Valle & M. King (Eds.), Existential-Phenomenological Alternatives for Psychology. Oxford University Press.
8. Connolly, J., & McDonald, K. P. (2020). Cross‐Cultural Perspectives on Dating and Marriage. The Encyclopedia of Child and Adolescent Development, 1–13. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781119171492.wecad486
9. Gordon, K. C., Amer, Z., Lenger, K. A., Brem, M. J., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2019). Forgiveness and the Dark Side of Intimate Relationships. In handbook forgiveness (2nd Editio, p. 11).
10. Haglund, K., Belknap, R. A., Edwards, L. M., Tassara, M., Hoven, J. Van, & Woda, A. (2019). The Influence of Masculinity on Male Latino Adolescents’ Perceptions Regarding Dating Relationships and Dating Violence. Violence Against Women, 25(9), 1039–1052. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801218808395
11. Hébert, M., Daspe, M. È., Lapierre, A., Godbout, N., Blais, M., Fernet, M., & Lavoie, F. (2019). A Meta-Analysis of Risk and Protective Factors for Dating Violence Victimization: The Role of Family and Peer Interpersonal Context. Trauma, Violence, and Abuse, 20(4), 574–590. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838017725336
12. Karandashev, V. (2015). A Cultural Perspective on Romantic Love. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture, 5(4), 1–21. https://doi.org/10.9707/2307-0919.1135
13. Kauniken, C. (2014). Dating Violence Among College Students: The Risk and Protective Factors. Trauma, Violence and Abuse, 2(2), 181–186.
14. KemenPPPA. (2022). Simfoni-PPA. Simfoni-PPA.
15. Malonda, E., Llorca, A., Mesurado, B., Samper, P., & Vicenta Mestre, M. (2019). Parents or peers? Predictors of prosocial behavior and aggression: A longitudinal study. Frontiers in Psychology, 10(OCT), 1–12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02379
16. Masters, J. (2015). Teen dating violence: Research literature review and annotated bibliography. Teen Dating Violence: Research Literature Review and Annotated Bibliography, 1–127.
17. McNaughton Reyes, H. L., Graham, L. M., Chen, M. S., Baron, D., Gibbs, A., Groves, A. K., Kajula, L., Bowler, S., & Maman, S. (2021). Adolescent dating violence prevention programmes: a global systematic review of evaluation studies. The Lancet Child and Adolescent Health, 5(3), 223–232. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2352-4642(20)30276-5
18. Muñiz-Rivas, M., Vera, M., & Povedano-Díaz, A. (2019). Parental style, dating violence and gender. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 16(15). https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16152722
19. Muñoz-Rivas, M., Ronzón-Tirado, R. C., Redondo, N., & Cassinello, M. D. Z. (2022). Adolescent Victims of Physical Dating Violence: Why Do They Stay in Abusive Relationships? Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 37(11–12), NP10362–NP10381. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260520986277
20. Park, S., & Kim, S.-H. (2019). Who Are the Victims and Who Are the Perpetrators in Dating Violence? Sharing the Role of Victim and Perpetrator. Trauma, Violence, and Abuse, 20(5), 732–741. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838017730648
21. Parker, E. M., Johnson, S. L., Debnam, K. J., Milam, A. J., & Bradshaw, C. P. (2017). Teen Dating Violence Victimization Among High School Students: A Multilevel Analysis of School-Level Risk Factors. Journal of School Health, 87(9), 696–704. https://doi.org/10.1111/josh.12538
22. Pérez-Fuentes, M. D. C., Jurado, M. D. M. M., Martín, A. B. B., & Linares, J. J. G. (2019). Family functioning, emotional intelligence, and values: Analysis of the relationship with aggressive behavior in adolescents. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 16(3). https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16030478
23. Pranoto, H., & Masruroh. (2021). Studi Fenomenologis : Kekerasan Dalam Pacaran Pada Remaja Di Kecamatan X Kabupaten Semarang. Jurnal Gizi Dan Kesehatan, 13(2), 113–121. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.35473/jgk.v13i2.219
24. Redd, N. J. (2019). Learned Helplessness and Battered Woman Syndrome. The Encyclopedia of Women and Crime, 82(1), 1–2. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118929803.ewac0323
25. Rubio-garay, F., López-gonzález, M. A., Carrasco, M. Á., & Amor, P. J. (2017). The prevalence of dating violence: a systematic review. 38(2), 135–147.
26. Rusyidi, B., & Hidayat, E. N. (2020). Kekerasan Dalam Pacaran: Faktor Risiko Dan Pelindung Serta Implikasinya Terhadap Upaya Pencegahan Dating Violence: the Risk and Protective Factors and Its Implications for Prevention Effort. Sosio Informa, 6(2), 152–169.
27. Sabina, C., Cuevas, C. A., & Bell, K. A. (2014). Dating Violence Among Latino Adolescents (DAVILA) Study. American Journal of Public Health, 104(8), 1471–1477.
28. Shorey, R. C. (2018). A Longitudinal Examination of Teen Dating Violence from Adolescence to Young Adulthood. https://doi.org/2016-R2-CX-0035
29. Sorokowski, P., Sorokowska, A., Karwowski, M., Groyecka, A., Aavik, T., Akello, G., Alm, C., Amjad, N., Anjum, A., Asao, K., Atama, C. S., Atamtürk Duyar, D., Ayebare, R., Batres, C., Bendixen, M., Bensafia, A., Bizumic, B., Boussena, M., Buss, D. M., … Sternberg, R. J. (2021). Universality of the Triangular Theory of Love: Adaptation and Psychometric Properties of the Triangular Love Scale in 25 Countries. Journal of Sex Research, 58(1), 106–115. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2020.1787318
30. Taylor, S., Calkins, C. A., Xia, Y., & Dalla, R. L. (2021). Adolescent Perceptions of Dating Violence: A Qualitative Study. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 36(1–2), 448–468. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260517726969
31. Théorêt, V., Lapierre, A., Blais, M., & Hébert, M. (2022). Can Emotion Dysregulation Explain the Association Between Attachment Insecurities and Teen Dating Violence Perpetration? Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 37(1–2), 743–763. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260520915547
32. Toplu-Demirtaş, E., & Fincham, F. D. (2022). I Don’t Have Power, and I Want More: Psychological, Physical, and Sexual Dating Violence Perpetration Among College Students. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 37(13–14), NP11490–NP11519. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260520951319
33. Wenzel, M., Woodyatt, L., Okimoto, T. G., & Worthington, E. L. (2021). Dynamics of Moral Repair: Forgiveness, Self-Forgiveness, and the Restoration of Value Consensus as Interdependent Processes. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 47(4), 607–626. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167220937551
34. Yau, J. H. Y., Wong, J. Y. H., & Fong, D. Y. T. (2021). Economic Abuse as a Form of Intimate Partner Violence: A Literature Review of the Instruments and Mental Well-Being Outcomes. Violence and Victims, 36(4), 479–492. https://doi.org/10.1891/VV-D-19-00082
Authors
[1]
“Journeying the Shoreline of Emotions: Unveiling the Lives of Wives in Challenging Polygamous Relationships”, Soc. sci. humanities j., vol. 8, no. 08, pp. 4578–4585, Aug. 2024, doi: 10.18535/sshj.v8i08.1266.
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